Well, that was disappointing. The Y2K FAQ (not necessarily y2k complianant)
If there is no power, causing me to need a generator, how will I be able to buy gas from the gas station? I hear they use electric pumps. The electric pumps are the problem. Best to avoid them completely. I recommend a low heel, with ankle straps. You can never go wrong with ankle straps. Will the Y2K problem wipe out my student loans? No. It will, however, eliminate all records that you ever attended College. Will the Y2K problem eliminate any of my debts? No. The Y2K problem will only eliminate debts which are owed to you. Debts which you owe to others will survive without a problem. What would happen if I took out a new car loan on December 31, 1999? Your car would crash into a snowbank. Will sea monkeys be efected by the Y2K bug? No. They will die no more quickly than usual. Will my backup disks survive the Y2K problem? No. When the power goes out, your disks will freeze. Then, in their brittle state, they will shatter into several thousand pieces. How should I best avoid the Y2K problem? Burn your computer, and all related files. Move into the woods. Learn to live off the land. Sell your Buick. Destroy all your ATM and credit cards. Get that implant out of your skull. Kill your neighbors before they kill you. Stop listening to the morse code messages the road crews are sending you. Relax. Have a drink. Everything's fine. If I take the implant out of my skull, won't i get cancer? Not if the implant is affected by the y2k bug. How will the Y2K bug affect my love life? Your cybersex sessions will be fewer and further between. Will the world as we know it come to an end with the turn of the century? Yes. No. Maybe How do you know so much about the Y2K issue, anyway? By watching Jerry Springer. Will I still be affected by the Y2K bug even if I've never used a computer in my whole life? Yes. It's now been discovered that the Y2K problem will affect your cardiovascular system. Will there be food and water shortages? Yes. But it will alternate. One day, there will be plenty of water, and no food. The next there will be plenty of food, but no water. The only serious danger comes when we run out of chocolate. Will wide spread power outages occur, and if so, should I invest in a portable generator? Yes, and no. The looters will get your generator anyway, so don't bother. Is it true that the Y2K problem was actually a conspiracy, by which Russian Anarchists paid U.S. programs to write "BUG" into their codes? Yes, and no. The Y2K problem is a conspiracy, but it has nothing to do with Russian Anarchists. In fact, the rumor about the Russian Anarchists is, in reality, a conspiracy perpetuated by sublateral commision members in order to destabilize the European infrastructure as a means by which to explore alternative possibilities for the indulgence of the passive capitalist substructure of... sorry, what was the question again? How can I protect myself from looters? Give away everything you own. Or, alternately, become a looter. Why Two Kay? Why not? Submit a y2k question	days since this counter broke. This page has been brought to you by 29A (the hex of the beast) Other Parody Pages

Well, that was disappointing.

The Y2K FAQ

(not necessarily y2k complianant)

If there is no power, causing me to need a generator, how will I be able to buy gas from the gas station? I hear they use electric pumps.: The electric pumps are the problem. Best to avoid them completely. I recommend a low heel, with ankle straps. You can never go wrong with ankle straps.
Will the Y2K problem wipe out my student loans?: No. It will, however, eliminate all records that you ever attended College.
Will the Y2K problem eliminate any of my debts?: No. The Y2K problem will only eliminate debts which are owed to you. Debts which you owe to others will survive without a problem.
What would happen if I took out a new car loan on December 31, 1999?: Your car would crash into a snowbank.
Will sea monkeys be efected by the Y2K bug?: No. They will die no more quickly than usual.
Will my backup disks survive the Y2K problem?: No. When the power goes out, your disks will freeze. Then, in their brittle state, they will shatter into several thousand pieces.
How should I best avoid the Y2K problem?: Burn your computer, and all related files. Move into the woods. Learn to live off the land. Sell your Buick. Destroy all your ATM and credit cards. Get that implant out of your skull. Kill your neighbors before they kill you. Stop listening to the morse code messages the road crews are sending you. Relax. Have a drink. Everything's fine.
If I take the implant out of my skull, won't i get cancer?: Not if the implant is affected by the y2k bug.
How will the Y2K bug affect my love life?: Your cybersex sessions will be fewer and further between.
Will the world as we know it come to an end with the turn of the century?: Yes. No. Maybe
How do you know so much about the Y2K issue, anyway?: By watching Jerry Springer.
Will I still be affected by the Y2K bug even if I've never used a computer in my whole life?: Yes. It's now been discovered that the Y2K problem will affect your cardiovascular system.
Will there be food and water shortages?: Yes. But it will alternate. One day, there will be plenty of water, and no food. The next there will be plenty of food, but no water. The only serious danger comes when we run out of chocolate.
Will wide spread power outages occur, and if so, should I invest in a portable generator?: Yes, and no. The looters will get your generator anyway, so don't bother.
Is it true that the Y2K problem was actually a conspiracy, by which Russian Anarchists paid U.S. programs to write "BUG" into their codes?: Yes, and no. The Y2K problem is a conspiracy, but it has nothing to do with Russian Anarchists. In fact, the rumor about the Russian Anarchists is, in reality, a conspiracy perpetuated by sublateral commision members in order to destabilize the European infrastructure as a means by which to explore alternative possibilities for the indulgence of the passive capitalist substructure of... sorry, what was the question again?
How can I protect myself from looters?: Give away everything you own. Or, alternately, become a looter.
Why Two Kay?: Why not?

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