Sian's Political Rant


The first version of this article was a posting on "Sappho", an electronic bulletin board for lesbian and bisexual women, during a recent round of what we of Sappho refer to as "The Great Semiannual Bisexual Debate. "

What I am failing to understand is what lesbian groups lose by the inclusion of bi women. I hear you saying that we deprive you of something, but it is never stated what. I understand that the issues of bi and lesbian women are not identical, but then, neither are the issues of any two lesbians.

Bi women want to be included as women who love women. It was not so long ago that a lesbian was considered to be (by the lesbian community) as a woman who loves women, not as a woman who fails to love men. It used to be said "a lesbian is any woman who says she is a lesbian". "Political lesbians", heterosexual women who chose to identify as lesbian, were once a valued part of the community (I've been basing these assertations on old writings by lesbians; try rereading, for instance, Sappho Was A Right-On Woman.) How many of the lesbian leaders and thinkers and writers and theorists and musicians and organizers of 20 years agor were biwomen? did they dilute the community? On how many campuses is the woman who is in-your-face out a biwoman, a biwoman willing to take all the shit associated with being an our lesbian? Do they dilute the community? How many biwomen, from Sappho herself to LA Law's CJ are claimed as lesbians at pride marches? Is this a dilution of the community? How many articulate voices on this list are biwomen? Have you wondered where some of the woman disappeared from Sappho recently have gone, and why?

Why does the idea of biwomen "diluting lesbian space" sound to me so much like "miscegenation diluting the white race", so much like "Jews diluting the Aryan race"?

And I hear lesbians talking about biwomen weakening the lesbian community. I hear lesbians saying biwomen make them feel unsafe. That we are too different to belong. If we can walk among you undetected if we don't bring up the B-word, how can we be so different? Is the lesbian community such a fragile thing that our presence will destroy it? Do you really think so little of yourselves to believe that? Sisters, I've always believed the bonds of women loving women, of women supporting women are unbreakably strong. You are strong beautiful women and biwomen could not destroy your community if they TRIED.

Why turn away an ally? Why turn away a sister? Why turn away those who want to help in the continued building of the community.

I have heard biwomen in lesbian space compared to white women invading the space of lesbians of color. Is this a correct analogy? Or is it more like biracial women in the space of women of color? Is the exclusion of biwomen by lesbians like a women of color caucus excluding white women? Or is it like a white club excluding blacks? Or is it like Latina women feeling uncomfortable with Jewish women feeling uncomfortable with African-American women feeling uncomfortable with Asian women during that third world caucus?

Is the exclusion of biwomen a product of the same dynamic that has excluded transsexual lesbians, S/M lesbians, and lesbians with boychildren? Who fails to meet the lesbian purity test next? Lesbians with men friends? Lesbians with male roommates? Lesbians who socialize with straight women? Who have male supervisors? Who still speak to their fathers or brothers?

I am a biwoman. I love women. I am a feminist. I like being with women. I trust women. I try to be trustworthy to women. I love lesbian culture. I feel emotionally, intellectually, spiritually close to women in a way I have never felt to men. When I meet new people, they assume I am a lesbian (I had someone tell me yesterday that they thought my "bi pride" pin was a statement of political support, and was surprised that it was self identity). I reject heterosexual privilege. I am your sister.

In love and anger,

-Sian Gramates

Sian Gramates is a graduate student at the University of Massachusetts.

An earlier draft of this article was published in BiWomen, the newsletter of the Boston Bisexual Women's Network.

Date: 1991-10-18 19:38:12

On the dicussion of the untrustworthiness of biwomen who will ALWAYS leave you for a man:
  1. it's not true (this biwoman's biwoman ex-lover left her for a woman :) ).

  2. biwomen are perfectly capable of making lasting commitments. sure, some of them will leave you for a man, and some of them will leave you for a woman, and some will leave you to go to grad school, or because they're not happy in the relationship, or any of the myriad other reasons women leave relationships.

  3. i've noticed that the lesbian stereotype of biwomen is that they prefer men, and the gaymale stereotype of bimen is that they prefer men. that is, it is assumed that, given a choice, everyone prefers men, that if you're not hardwired to be exclusively attracted to women, that men are the clearly preferable choice. anybody else find something more than a little woman-hating in this thought?

  4. i'm getting some since of some of the women saying they don't want to be around biwomen because they might not be the ideal sex partner. YO! i find it VERY insulting to be evaluated as a person solely on my desirability as a sex partner. the last time i checked, women at lesbian events talked to each other, ate together, discussed politics, wrote poetry, danced, etc. you don't go to lesbian events just to get laid. we don't either.
-sian (tired of being stereotyped and objectified)